I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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