ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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