we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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