I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize