I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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