it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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