Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm at about main and main street
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
