I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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