I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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