you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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