i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
