she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize