Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize