Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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