I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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