if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
