I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I skipped work to stalk him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
