ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
