just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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