Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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