I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In other news, I just burned my penis
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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