She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
