Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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