you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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