so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
