Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
