Did you just see the Batmobile???
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Randomize
