Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
