Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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