New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
