Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
