I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
