I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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