He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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