He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
