Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
