It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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