I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize