Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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