so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
