i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
