drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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