I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
