she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
