i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
