Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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