Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Blood and glitter go together right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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