I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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