i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
