We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
