You're my little dorito
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
