Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
