Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
