So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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