fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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