Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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