My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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