capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
