I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
