Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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