where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize