I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
