don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
