somebody snuck up and got me drunk
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
