btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
