I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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