Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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