But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
