I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i think my mom watched the whole time
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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