erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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